Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Bush Pardons Turkey

In an attempt to endear himself to lefty vegetarians and turkeys George W. Bush has pardoned two turkeys bound for the homes (and stomachs) of americans. The turkeys will be sent Disneyland, where they will remain useless to everyone.

In related news people are starving.

By attempting to win over the usually staunchly liberal turkey and vegetarian voting block Bush seems to be back tracking from campaign promisses to "eat the shit out of some turkeys."

The Rain

The rain is really starting to get to me. Sure I'm underemployed, sure I don't have any conisistent source of female companionship, sure there hasn't been an uniquely satisfying new album in a few weeks, sure wars are raging, relief efforts are being held up by beauracracy, international relationships are crumbling, massive layoffs are on the way, sure every day seems longer, every night sleeping get's more difficult, everyday I feel the cold plasticity of the holiday season creeping up on me, but the rain it's really got me down.

So I say no more rain. Not that it does any good. We are all just swimming in a sea of complications and circumstances that are well out of our control. I just wasn't expecting to actually have to swim.