Wednesday, July 13, 2005

HARD TIMES AT GM? How Bout...

A Comprehensive Business Plan To Save GM’s Ass:

It’s been a slow slog towards the bottom for General Motors but they may finally be falling apart. With that in mind I have put together a comprehensive business plan to save General Motors, because who knows business management better than Some moron with a blog. All you stock holders out there can thank me later.

First things first take stock of what you do have. Say your prayers, prayers are big these days and try and think of new and innovative ideas for the automotive industry. If that doesn’t work stop using air bags.

Secondly, let’s get one thing straight you guys set the standards and made America what it is today. See if you still have any political clout. Perhaps the President will bomb a Toyota factory for you. Do it at night so you might hire the cheap laborers already trained. If this doesn’t work stop making seat belts.

The third thing to go for is reinvention. Light a fire under your researchers well paid asses. If Steve Jobs can get people to come up with the iPod after twenty years in the industry you guys could come up with something new. Perhaps, GM could manufacture some product that people didn’t even know they needed. Like one of those old European ass cleaners*. If that doesn’t work how much do we need breaks.

*Bidet

Weird Al!!!!!!!


I've had just about enough of this Yankovic bashing. It's like people just don't realize how motherfuckin' rockin' Al is well I say everyone should check his shit out again cuz it's the dickenz, for real.

Poor, Fat, Lying Ass Scott MCClellen


Back in the early years of the Bush White House adventure Ari Fleicher used to just swat the press away like flies. He was the zen-spinster allowing our country to crumble but never showing his hand. Scott McClellan is another matter all together. He seems to be bordering on a nervous breakdown.

If you think you hate Karl Rove imagine having to cover for his ass for aliving. If this security leak thing really moves forward and Rove is in line for prison time they'll probably make sure McClellan has a heart attack at a press confrence. That should sweep this mess under the carpet for a week or so.