Friday, July 29, 2005

Dr. Bill Frist Hates America, Loves Stem Cells

""All the bitches in the place who wanna find a cure for Alzheimer's Say Yea-UH!!!"

Bill Frist defied common logic today by assessing a political issue using logic. He decided to publicly proclaimed stem cell research ok, despite President Bush's consistant cock blockin' on Stem Cells. He followed these statements by declaring them patently delicious, swallowing three whole stem cells before realising his point had been suficiently made.

Classic Indie Rock Obsession of the Week: The Replacements

The drunkest band in history says alot. The Hold Steady's tour rider apparently demands a full case of beer and a bottle of Maker's Mark and makes sure to polish it off before their set is over. The Strokes used to surround their drum riser with keg cups and chug them between cues. Guided By Voices' last show was performed with an open bar on the stage so between songs band members could get a consistant stream of drinks. But oh those Replacements got them all beat. Guitarist Bob Stinson was once rumored to have frozen to death while drinking in a snow fall in the harsh Minneapolis winter of 1995, but apparently he had simply drank himself to death.

In spit of this self destructive streak (or really because of it) there is no band in history I would have rather been in. This proabably says more about me being a bit of a masochist than anything, but hey you are what you are. As a Replacement you would get to revel in some of the most thrilling rock shows in history as well as some of the worst. It seems like the most enlightened choice one could make is to attach yourself to a band that would run the entire curve of a rock band's existence. Plus you'd get to see Hüsker Dü for free all the effing time!